I don’t read my own posts. I generally type in a flow and with spontaneity, and looking back at the finished result somehow kills that feeling of satisfaction. It is only when someone says a particular post is well-written that I go back and read it. Sometimes I impress myself, and sometimes I find stupid, careless errors that one can expect in writings that haven’t been proofread. Some weeks ago, however, when I read my posts on the front page, I was distinctly disturbed. All the posts had a lingering anger in them, and looked like I’d written them with a feeling of grudge, rather than the normal creativity with which I associate blogging.
There are so many types and subtypes of bloggers that psychologists could write volumes on their traits, their writing patters, their mood swings et al. But I guess there are subtle hints every reader, shrink or not, can pick up from an emoted post. Hints about what state of mind the blogger is in, regardless of what the post is about. If you were to read this post, you’d know it was written in a state of anger and frustration. And a blogger like me, who likes to think of himself as a very calm individual (even if he’s not!), cannot stand any of his posts indicating anger deep within.
Then I think, perhaps this is the way it should be. When you get serious abut blogging, your blog becomes your impersonation, your alter ego. And no matter how much you try to portray your words in an impassioned, unbiased form (if you try at all), your inner thoughts come out involuntarily, but decisively. And this is the point when it’s fair to say you’re in love with your blog, for your subconscious self finds it as one it can share thoughts with. Doesn’t mean you don’t love your blog if you don’t write passionate posts, but if you do write emo, you’re lovin’ it.
I know many bloggers who stopped blogging simply because their posts were becoming too emoted. They didn’t want their blog to become their outlet, what with more people in their social circle among their readers. My advice: don’t stop blogging only because your posts are emoted. Maybe you can password-protect sensitive posts, but don’t expect that throughout your blog you’ll never express yourself. You are a human being with a heart, not a journalist who can write about infant murders without as much as a hint of sorrow.
People struggle to speak their minds in the parochial societal standards that have been set in the modern times, and then, when they find an outlet, they slam it shut out of embarrassment. And this really is one of the biggest flaws in our ‘standards’, the inability, and unwillingness, to express oneself. It is the reason our politicians go scot-free after stashing away our money in Swiss banks. It is the reason the clerk at the electricity office asks you for a bribe to repair your wires without hesitation. It is the reason people elect heads of state who end up as tyrants. Please don’t do that, for the day we forget to express ourselves, we’ll no more be ruled. We’ll be enslaved. Express yourself, and keep blogging. The keyboard is mightier than the nuke.
Blabberwocky 